The Space Between
How a Horse Taught Me About Leadership
Ten years into my career at a fast-paced company, everything looked great on paper. I was a high performer- leading a team, working on meaningful projects, and climbing the ladder. Yet beneath the surface, something felt off. My days blurred into back-to-back meetings, my calendar dictated my energy, and weekends were mostly about recovery.
I began to wonder: is this it?
A Wake-Up Call
My company had a sabbatical policy, but the idea of stepping away for a few months felt impossible at the speed we were moving. Then my friend suddenly passed away, and his death was a wake-up call that life is fragile. Time is finite.
I decided to take a few months off, and it wasn’t just going to be a break. I would use the sabbatical to reimagine how I was living. More balance. More energy. More connection. Maybe even a hobby. I didn’t know exactly what that looked like, but I knew I wanted to start.
Searching for a Different Way
My research led me to “Blue Zones,” which are regions where people live longer, healthier, and happier lives. Costa Rica stood out. After some rest on the beach, I decided to do something out of my comfort zone and signed up for a retreat with horses in the jungle.
Meeting JR
I spent a week with a horse named JR, and it changed everything.
On the very first day, JR walked up and began nudging me with his nose. I laughed awkwardly and said, “I’m fine,” even though my body felt tense. The facilitator noticed and asked, “Are you really okay with that?” In that moment, I realized something profound:
I wasn’t fine. My words said one thing, but my body said another.
When I finally set a boundary with him, something surprising happened: our connection actually grew stronger. It was because I was congruent, my words and my body finally matched. That clarity deepened our connection and laid the foundation for trust.
The Lesson of Congruence
This experience cracked something open for me. I began asking:
How often do I override what my body knows, just to be polite or avoid disruption?
How often do I accommodate, when what’s really needed is honesty?
What if true connection comes not from pleasing others, but from clarity and congruence?
I started to explore this concept of congruence and what it could look like in my own life. I learned that the body holds its own intelligence. When we pay attention, it becomes a compass for decision-making, problem-solving, and collaborating with others.
From Spark to Shift
That week with JR lit a spark that pulled me beyond corporate life and into creating Lacuna Factor.
A lacuna is a gap or an unfilled space. And I’ve come to believe the space between is where transformation lives- when we pause long enough to notice what our head, heart, and body are telling us.
Through retreats, coaching, and programs, I now help others step into their own version of that pause. Because with all of the change and disruption, the future of leadership is actually about knowing when to slow down. It’s about finding congruence, so we can move forward with clarity, connection, and purpose.
Reflection:
Where in your life are your words saying “I’m fine,” but your body feels something else? What might shift if you listened more closely?
Photo credit: Leila Pages Photography